Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Crucifixion Nails From Jesus Found

"an Israeli television journalist has produced a pair of nails he says may have been used to crucify Jesus Christ." -Dipshits at Time Magazine.

Just in time for Easter. What a coincidence. Also they found a horn from a unicorn. And the rabbit hole of the Easter Bunny. Santa Claus' igloo was discovered too.
It's another beautiful day for rationality and enlightenment.

Here's what is happening in ACTUAL religious news: Thanks to Joe My God's This Week In Holy Crimes

Texas: Pastor Julio Perez charged with murder for hiring a hit man to shoot his wife.
Mississippi: Pastor Eddie Prince charged with downloading child porn on a public library computer.
Washington DC: Whistleblower lawsuit filed against Catholic Charities for charging the poor for flu shots meant to be free under a government-funded program.
New York: Father Francis McCloskey busted in stolen car after attempting to elude pursuing cops. McCloskey is a renowned anti-abortion activist.
California: Father Alejandro Castillo charged with seven felony counts of child molestation.
New Jersey: Rabbi Mordchai Fish pleads guilty to money laundering.
New York: Pastor Jeremy Fulton pleads guilty to molesting five girls as young as ten years old.
Pennsylvania: Archdiocese of Philadelphia sued for wrongful death in suicide of molestation victim.
Oklahoma: Pastor Tommy Pitts charged with 70 felony counts of child molestation. The victims are his adopted daughters.
Wisconsin: Father John Dahlberg charged with embezzling from church fund meant for families in crisis.
Texas: Pastor Owen Davis charged with sexual assault of an undocumented woman he had forced to sign a contract agreeing to sex on demand.
California: Pastor Joe David Nelms charged with sexual assault on a child.
New York: Pastor Joe Flowers charged with molesting an 11 year-old boy.
Illinois: Father John Regan to face trial for embezzling $400K in church funds to support his gambling addiction.

This Week's Winner
Wisconsin: The Archdiocese of Milwaukee is accused of transferring $55M into a cemetery trust account in order to shield assets from suing molestation victims. The Archdiocese filed for bankruptcy in January and this week proposed settling 22 molestation suits at $700K each. In February a lawyer for the victims accused New York Archbishop Timothy Dolan of hiding $130M while assigned to Milwaukee in 2008.