Thursday, March 29, 2007

Indeed, Power Man... indeed.

Labels: , ,

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Black Jesus! Now with Cannibalism!!

Papua New Guinea - The murderous cannibal calling himself Black Jesus who raped and murdered at least three girls has been captured. Steven Tari, 35, was caught and beaten by a group of angry villagers who handed him over to police.

Thousands gathered to shout abuse at Tari, a failed Bible student who claims to be the True Christ, when he was brought to the police station in the town of Madang. Wearing only a loincloth instead of his usual flowing robes, he stood meekly before the crowd. "It was as if he thought he was being humiliated like Christ before he was crucified," said an onlooker.

Tari had gathered more than six thousand disciples as he travelled through mountain villages promising followers that they would receive gifts from heaven if they followed him.
But jungle communities were horrified to learn that Tari sacrificed three young women, drinking their blood and eating their flesh, as part of his bizarre ceremonies. In one case a mother who had fallen under his influence drank her daughter's blood, according to relatives.Tari was still in possession of what he called his "magic rod", a knife and a tattered Bible, many of whose teachings he had denied in his own sermons.

"We are a Christian country and his deeds have not been reflective of this," said Madang police commander Anthony Wagambie.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

He Knows If You've Been Sleeping...

Friday, March 23, 2007

R. Kenton Nelson

Monday, March 19, 2007

YPMTRGA 10th Anniversary of Heaven's Gate Cult Suicide Party!

In honor of believers who REALLY believe, please join us in San Deigo this weekend where we'll do our best to ascend into heaven by poisoning ourselves with red wine, backgammon, and sauces on meats laden with saturated fats. Maybe, like the original Heaven's Gate-ers, we'll watch some Star Trek too. Sure, it's not the same as Phenobarbitol mixed with vodka and a bag over the head, but I hope they won't hold that against us.

Like the Gate-ers, we will each carry five dollars in quarters, for use on the spaceship (which is to have vending machines and an arcade) to which we will be transported upon our death.

We may never know for sure if the Hale-Bopp comet had a spaceship behind it that was carrying Jesus, as the Heaven's Gate-ers believed, but the odds of it are exactly as good as any other beliefs of Christians or Muslims.

Still, let's let Ti & Do speak for themselves:

HEAVEN'S GATE® "Away Team" Returns to Level Above Human in Distant Space - 3-22-97

RANCHO SANTO FE, CA -- By the time you receive this, we'll be gone -- several dozen of us. We came from the Level Above Human in distant space and we have now exited the bodies that we were wearing for our earthly task, to return to the world from whence we came -- task completed. The distant space we refer to is what your religious literature would call the Kingdom of Heaven or the Kingdom of God.

During a brief window of time, some may wish to follow us. If they do, it will not be easy. The requirement is to not only believe who the Representatives are, but, to do as they and we did. You must leave everything of your humanness behind. This includes the ultimate sacrifice and demonstration of faith -- that is, the shedding of your human body. If you should choose to do this, logistically it is preferred that you make this exit somewhere in the area of the West or Southwest of the United States -- but if this is not possible -- it is not required. You must call on the name of TI and DO to assist you. In so doing, you will engage a communication of sorts, alerting a spacecraft to your location where you will be picked up after shedding your vehicle, and taken to another world -- by members of the Kingdom of Heaven.

Only a Member of the Next Level can give you Life -- can take you out of "Death" -- but it requires that you disconnect, separate, from the last element holding you to the human kingdom.

We know what we're saying -- we know it requires a "leap of faith." But it's deliberate -- designed for those who would rather take that leap than stay in this world.

We suggest that anyone serious about considering this go into their most quiet place and ask, scream, with all of their being, directing their asking to the Highest Source they can imagine (beyond Earth's atmosphere), to give them guidance. Only those "chosen" by that Next Kingdom will know that this is right for them, and will be given the courage required to act.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Why Do You Think They Call Them Terminals?

I hate flying anywhere anymore. I hate the people who run airports and the abbatoir-esque chutes they run us through, the utter fucking mess they've made of what was once something to look forward to. An event. Flying.

Bus terminals are now a more pleasant experience than airports. As if sending a God-like signal to the masses warning of the mess we've created (a sign ignored by all but a Chosen Few who know how to interpret these things), the amazing centerpiece building at LAX dropped a 1000 lb piece of stucco down from it's flying saucer like appendage last week. They'll either tear it down or, more likely, leave it to rot empty and tomb-like, as they've done with Saarinen's TWA Terminal at JFK.

I drove past it a few days ago. Like the center of a hurricane, the center of LAX is eerily quiet. Thousands of buses and cars zoom around counterclockwise, but in the center, where the structure lives, not a soul was to be seen, in car or out. There was some straggly yellow warning tape bloowing around, blocking the entrance to the awful Jetsons restaurant "Encounters" they built in half of the structure (The other half was offices and some storage - an astoundingly poor use of some of the most beautiful space in Southern California. The cardboard boxes had a splendid view.)

We deserve what we get.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Laurie Hogin

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Congressman says he doesn't believe in God

Good for him.

Democrat Pete Stark of California is the highest-ranking elected official in the U.S. to make such a public acknowledgement.

Secular groups Monday applauded a public acknowledgment by Rep. Pete Stark that he does not believe in a supreme being, making the Fremont Democrat the first member of Congress — and the highest-ranking elected official in the U.S. — to publicly acknowledge not believing in God.

The American Humanist Assn. plans to take out an ad in the Washington Post today congratulating the congressman for his public stance and highlighting the contributions of other prominent secular humanists, such as writers Barbara Ehrenreich and Kurt Vonnegut.

Fred Edwords, a spokesman for the group, said non-theistic Americans often faced discrimination for their views.

"So often throughout American history, people who are non-theistic or don't believe in a supreme being can't get elected to public office or, if they inform the public of their view, they don't get reelected," he said. "We're trying to increase the acceptance of non-theists as every bit as American as everybody else."
This is the best news I've heard all week.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Gods Displeased With Number of Balls on Logo

Airline Logo Scares Superstitious Customers
ZAVENTEM, Belgium - Thirteen dots looked just right to designer Ronane Hoet.

Together they had the perfect balance to form a stylized "b" for the new Belgian carrier Brussels Airlines and the number also matched the airline's destinations in Africa, a key market.

This week, however, Brussels Airlines was busy changing the 13-ball logo on the tail and sides of one of its Airbus jets and adding a 14th one in response to complaints from superstitious customers in the United States and Italy.

In China, though, 14 is bad luck

Brussels Airlines had the choice to go to 12 dots or 14. It chose 14 because of the religious connotations of the 12 disciples.

Luckily, Brussels Airlines is not flying to China, where 14 is a definite no-no. Fourteen, or one-four, in Mandarin, sounds like the phrase "to want to die."

Although such superstitions were derided in China for decades under more doctrinaire Communist rule, they have made a comeback under free-market change. Some hotels in China do not have fourteenth floors, just as some in the West eliminate the 13th floor.

"The Chinese are notoriously superstitious. Certain numbers are very lucky and their business decisions are very much shaped by their cultural superstitions," Hood said.

Karplus felt pretty relaxed about flying when the gates opened for her flight to Geneva. Then she noticed the flight number "LH3666" -- and the last three digits gave her reason for pause.

"The sign of the devil," she said, eyes wide.

Man Bites Delicious Dog!

Dog's dinners prove popular in Nigeria
BBC - "Welcome to animal kingdom where man pikin dey show dog pepper," says Chibuzo Eze in Pidgin English, meaning: Welcome to place where the son of man is giving dogs a hard time. Mr Eze then hungrily gets back to tugging his chunk of dog meat.

'Improves your sex life'

Mr Eze says he eats dog meat because "e dey protect person from all those nyama-nyama disease them" - it gives you immunity from different diseases. A few yards away Bassey Umoh, South Africa's owner and chief chef, pokes at larger chunks of sizzling meat barbecuing on wire gauze over an open fire.

"Eating dog meat gives you a special protection against the most potent juju (charm)," he claims, reeling off the benefits of dog meat.

"Dog meat also improves your sex life. And if you eat dog meat, you cannot be poisoned."

Another dog-meat eater, Beke Nnkwo says he was introduced to the cuisine as a cure for malaria. "People who eat dog meat have no business with malaria," Mr Nnkwo says. "So, I was introduced to the meat as a cure for malaria and I can testify that it works."

Medical opinion, however, seems to differ.

"Dog meat, to the best of my knowledge, is not any different from any other meat. The claim that it cures malaria is definitely not true," says Dr Yakubu Nyandaiti a consultant at Nigeria's University of Maiduguri Teaching Hospital.

For Mr Nnkwo, however, an Igbo from south-eastern Nigeria, eating dog meat is a question of culture.

"I hear they eat frogs in certain parts of the world. But I tell you, no matter how you cook or dress a frog, I can never eat it.

Dog Meat Terminology

  • 404: A dog is also called 404 after the French-built Peugeot pick-up van, a tribute to a dog's ability to run fast
  • Headlights: A dish with the eyes of a dog as the most prominent component
  • Gear Box: Dog's liver, heart and kidneys (usually more expensive than ordinary meat)
  • Tyre: A dog's legs. Mr Umoh claims that eating a 'tyre' makes you a fast runner
  • Sentencing: The act of clubbing a dog to death rather than slaughtering it
  • Monday, March 05, 2007