Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Priest News Round-Up!

It's shooting fish in a barrel at this point. If only we could shoot them.

Still, I rolled the Google dice today on "priest" because I have nothing original, and this is what they came up: Lucky Doubles.

Catholic priest gets maximum 7 years for child pornography
Chicago Tribune,

Priest 'not involved in bombing'
Belfast Telegraph, The priest suspected of being behind nine murders in Claudy had denied involvement...

Controversial Canadian priest runs for election
CathNews A Canadian bishop has allowed a Quebec priest was once a male prostitute...

Priest accused of molesting teenager in court
Advertiser Adelaide, Australia

And finally, Judas Priest Frontman Rob Halford: Getting In The Halloween Mood ...

here are some octopuses

In the spirit of half-assed barely trying, here are some octopuses.

Friday, October 27, 2006


Monday, October 23, 2006

Tipping Stockholm Syndrome

The Freakonomics blog posted this ludicrous tidbit: "...it's very odd to me that so many service people who perform similar functions get tipped and that flight attendants don't. Especially when they often work so hard for so many people, running back and forth with drinks, pillows, headphones, etc."

Yeah, I wonder why? Why don't cattle start tipping the slaughterhouse employees?

Every step of flying, from getting to the airport on one end, to getting out of the airport on the other, is a temple of misery, a bastion of discomfort and inconvenience.

Gee - I'm paying several hundred dollars to expose myself to asinine, capricious policies by an incredibly greedy bunch of companies that STILL can't turn a profit. Why shouldn't I cough up a couple extra bucks for the person who acts like getting me a second tiny cup of water in the third hour of the flight wasn't akin to asking her to clean my toenails with her teeth?

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Human Species to Split. Creationists Likely to Remain Unaware of Change as They Toil in Our Underground Caves

BBC - Humanity may split into two sub-species in 100,000 years' time as predicted by HG Wells, an expert has said.

Evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry of the London School of Economics expects a genetic upper class and a dim-witted underclass to emerge.

The human race would peak in the year 3000, he said - before a decline due to dependence on technology.

People would become choosier about their sexual partners, causing humanity to divide into sub-species, he added.

The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative and a far cry from the "underclass" humans who would have evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures.

Race 'ironed out'

But in the nearer future, humans will evolve in 1,000 years into giants between 6ft and 7ft tall, he predicts, while life-spans will have extended to 120 years, Dr Curry claims.

Physical appearance, driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility, will improve, he says, while men will exhibit symmetrical facial features, look athletic, and have squarer jaws, deeper voices and bigger penises.

Women, on the other hand, will develop lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features, he adds. Racial differences will be ironed out by interbreeding, producing a uniform race of coffee-coloured people.

However, Dr Curry (pictured, right) warns, in 10,000 years time humans may have paid a genetic price for relying on technology.

Spoiled by gadgets designed to meet their every need, they could come to resemble domesticated animals.

Receding chins

Social skills, such as communicating and interacting with others, could be lost, along with emotions such as love, sympathy, trust and respect. People would become less able to care for others, or perform in teams.

Physically, they would start to appear more juvenile. Chins would recede, as a result of having to chew less on processed food.

Further into the future, sexual selection - being choosy about one's partner - was likely to create more and more genetic inequality, said Dr Curry.

The logical outcome would be two sub-species, "gracile" and "robust" humans similar to the Eloi and Morlocks foretold by HG Wells in his 1895 novel The Time Machine.

"While science and technology have the potential to create an ideal habitat for humanity over the next millennium, there is a possibility of a monumental genetic hangover over the subsequent millennia due to an over-reliance on technology reducing our natural capacity to resist disease, or our evolved ability to get along with each other, said Dr Curry.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Start Spreading the News

Monday, October 16, 2006

New Manifesto

I want to see less of the world, less of the people living in it. Whether smelly hobo or old skin-tight woman in a Mercedes, I no longer want to cross their paths.

I don't want to know what the teens today are doing.

Or what they're listening to.

Or what they're wearing.

Or if they're learning.

I don't want to know about the guy who abused his power. Not the cop. Not the buinessman. Not the politican.

I don't want to step over the trash on the ground. And the dogshit. And the urine. And the broken bottles, mattresses, TVs, trash and rotting food.

I don't want to know what you're thinking.

I don't want to know what you would do differently.

I don't want to know who you met or who you saw or what they said.

I don't want to know what you believe.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

The Loneliest Octopus: A Fable

And the Octopus lived happily ever after.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Pope Decision on 'Limbo' Delayed for a Year

2,000 Years Worth of Dead Unbaptized Babies Told to Keep Waiting While Ratzinger Ponders Their Fate.

"They're used to it by now - After all, it is called Limbo," says unnamed Arch-Bishop.

ROME - The medieval Roman Catholic concept of “limbo” will remain in place for at least a year after Pope Benedict XVI failed to mention it in his homily at Mass today.

A draft document drawn up for the Pope’s approval declaring that limbo was “no longer essential or even necessary” and could be “abandoned without causing problems of faith” has not been finalised. It will not be presented to the pontiff until 2007.

Catholics regard limbo as the home in the afterlife of the souls of unbaptised children.

Vatican theologians denied suggestions that the proposed change was intended to prevent people in areas with high infant mortality turning to Islam, which holds that the souls of all babies who die - including those stillborn - go to Paradise.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Oh shit -

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


Finally, Frankenstein has the upper hand. Nothing can go wrong now.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The Many Grotesque Moods of Dennis Hastert

Hoot Owl






neglected from our previous coverage was:


Monday, October 02, 2006

The Many Trials of Frankenstein