Thursday, July 28, 2005

Hobo Extraordinaire on Hollywood Blvd.

So I'm coming up on a guy in a wheelchair. Normal size: thin, full head of hair, etc. As I pass him, my brain has a hard time reconciling what I see and it literally takes me a few seconds of staring to figure out this guy. He's wearing shorts. One leg is very very large. I can't think of something that would equate the girth and width of his thigh. A medium sized log I guess. Then we get to the knee: As wide as his thigh was, his knee is even more bloated/ballooned. It's at least the equivalent zie of the guy's head, probably larger, and certainly rounder. Kind of like a basketball. Then we go down to the shin. It's just a slightly narrower log than his thigh.

Then I realized he didn't have a foot. The leg just sort of ended. Nope - look again. There is a foot. But it's normal sized. As such it's been completely absorbed by his leg and ankle.

Only then did I realize that he didn't even have a second leg. That was gone entirely. I was a little distracted of course, taking all of this in, becuawse he had two large aluminum food trays that he was slamming together like a pair of cymbals.

He also had a new looking and rolled up poster - about three feet long. He used it like a pirate used a - what are those called? - he was looking at it down the street. When someone walked by, he'd wait for them to pass, and then jab them in the side with his poster. He had short hair, but still used a jaunty light blue sweatband - or thick piece of string wrapped around his head. I hope I see him again before the other leg falls off.

6 Comments:

Blogger lucky doubles roller said...

as per our previous exchange, it is called a telescope.

2:10 PM  
Blogger Mr Lucky Doubles said...

no. That's what astrologers use.

2:12 PM  
Blogger lucky doubles roller said...

I meant otoscope.

2:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

spyglass, boys

3:19 PM  
Blogger lucky doubles roller said...

-Spyglass (n): See telescope.

7:16 PM  
Blogger Mr Lucky Doubles said...

bollocks.

10:49 PM  

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