How You Eating Your Bacon?

This tasty mess was discovered on a trip to Big Smoky: The city that never sleeps, and never stops stinking of urine and garbage. The city so nice, they crashed planes into it twice!

I dont have the menu that describes what this is, but it comes from some South American country that - get this! - Doesn't speak Spanish! What the!? Kookamanga, I think it's called - or Calderone, I dunno. But this splendid dish of black food is only served on Saturdays - it's a special treat! Like some sort of Anti-Sabbath. It's a stew made up of long simmering black beans, black sausages, collard greens, and big weird, uber-fatty slices of BACON. It looks even more like bacon here than it did that night. It's unrecognizable in regular light.

We tried to have it delivered, and after spelling - slowly - several times - the address and the street and so on, they called us back in 10 minutes and asked if we could come pick it up. Is that how things work in Gotham? When you ask for something delivered, they ask you to come pick it up? Full of savages that place is. Silver lining: The restaurant had a bowl of root beer barrel candy! A handful of those makes a fine appetizer for a plate of black bacon sausage bean stuff.