SATANISTS! Start Fucking!

SATANISTS! PAY HEED! This weekend is your last chance for demonic conception if you want a 'lil demonspawn to be born on 6/6/6. Imagine the fun you'll have as it throws nannies from balconies, impales priests on steeples, and sends packs of attack dogs after your foes. Then of course it will go grow up to slaughter the Isrealites, free the seven headed dragons from heaven, and raise the righteous 144,000 to sit at the hand of god... Ahh, what a crock of shit you dummies believe.

Here at YOUR PRAYERS, we put as much faith into Satan as we do in his supposedly white-hatted alter-ego, God. If you're spending time trying to make contact with either of them, you're fuckin' batshit. But we have to admit, Satanists wear cooler clothes, always have a good collection of death metal on hand, and their houses always look crazy. Like batshit crazy.

So we just thought we'd remind you to get pumping. Or at least it might be a good way to get some hot goth chick in the sack with you.