Friday, November 11, 2005

Bill O'Reilly sends Al-Qaida to destroy CA town for voting for Democrats!

Bill O'Reilly, sexual harassment boss-of-the-year, gave the big thumbs up to terrorists to come into California and blow up San Francisco.

Sounding surprisingly like Pat Robertson (the man who forces black Africans to work in his gold mines, and who, quite possibly, CUTS OFF THEIR HANDS if they don't find enough gold for him to buy more race horses), O'Reilly said this:

"Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds. Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead ... And if al-Qaida comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco."

Apparently O'Reilly was REALLY upset, like Robertson, with democracy, because the city voted not to let military recruiters work on high school and college campuses. They can still recruit on private Christian school campuses though, which is good, cuz those little bastards love the Crusades, you know? Also, most idiots that join the military are from Texas and Alabama - and tend to be retarded or incredibly poor. This also proves my theory that terrorists take their orders direcly from Bill O'Reilly, at least when he isn't out committing sex crimes.

But this is all good news for one key line: "You want to be your own country? Go right ahead."
Finally. California has no use for the rest of this country.
We're the world's fifth latrgest economy.
We grow all our own vegetables, raise our beef, make our own cheese.
Neiman Ranch makes delicious bacon.
Gilroy makes the best garlic.
We have ravens and parrots that play in palm trees outside my office at this very minute.
We have oceans and mountains and forests.
We make our own wine.
We make our own computers.
We make our own tv shows, pornography, books and movies.
We have an ACTUAL liberal press here.

We're like Australia - but with more brown people, and without anything that can be consdiered a football team.

So uh, good luck to the rest of you. Don't forget to write.


Blogger Mr Lucky Doubles said...

Don't worry - I shall write about bacon again soon... very soon.

1:32 PM  
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