Dear Director of the Seattle Zoo,
I'd just like to let you know that the zombie party in Capitol Hill that took place after the rave was not my idea. I'm not saying I didn't encouarage people to dress up like zombies or to continue the party at someone's house after the rave, but I wasn't the instigator.
Secondly, my pistol-grip shotgun has a much darker finish on it than the one used to shoot those seven people. (I'd be happy to show it to you) In fact, I'd say my shotgun probably wasn't fired more than two times that night - three, tops - and to hit seven people I'd obviously need more ammo and shots (I'm not saying I'm a bad shot mind you!)
Finally, I'd like to point out that everyone seems to think the gunman died at the scene anyway, so no one is even looking for other suspects, and it's a damn good idea to just drop the whole fucking subject now, OK?
I look forward to speaking to you further about the job.
Sincerely,
Lucky Doubles Roller.
PS - There's no such animal as a seahawk.