Saturday, April 08, 2006

Malawi Today: Is that a penis in your pocket or are you just happy to - OH GOD! THAT'S A PENIS IN YOUR POCKET!!

Lilongwe, Malawi - Police arrested three people in broad daylight at Lilongwe Hotel for being found in possession of male sexual organs. The parts, which included a penis and testicles, were oozing blood at the time of the arrest, police said. According to Chitimbe, the suspects wrapped the penis and testicles in a plastic bag to keep them fresh.

“The penis and testicles looked so fresh because they were still oozing blood.
From the look of things, they must have been removed them from a man the same day in the morning,” he said. “The two, at the moment, are still insisting that they did not know that the parcel they were carrying contained those items,” said Chitimbe. “They were seen to be busy trying to make some connections on the phone until two CID [police] appeared and arrested them.

In other African news, life doesn't begin at 40 in Zimbabwe. In fact, most people never reach 40.

The average Zimbabwean woman is dying at 34, according to figures released on Friday in the World Health Organisation (WHO) annual report for 2006. Zimbabwean men can expect to live only to 37.
While the WHO linked the shocking statistic to the high incidence of HIV-Aids, many doctors complained that it was also because of the collapse of the health system in the country, which is struggling through its worst political and economic crisis since independence in 1980.

"Many women are dying during pregnancy, or during or after delivery. It is shocking," said Peter Iliff, a doctor and a member of the Zimbabwe Association of Doctors for Human Rights (ZADHR). In just one year, Zimbabwean women's lives had become, on average, two years shorter.

All 10 countries with the world's lowest life expectancy were in Africa. People in Swaziland and Sierra Leone are also expected to die before they reach the age of 40, the report said.


Blogger Unsane said...

when I was in Zimbabwe in 2000, the Malawian servant of the male person I was staying with had a bad day and broke one of my cheapsoapstone ornaments I'd bought that day.

Did you do something to upset him? -- asked Mister houseowner.

No, I didn't.

Later it transpired that his daughter had died in the hospital, most probably of AIDS. This cause was never explained to houseboy, who was considered too uneducated for this kind of information. Nonetheless he was given a small amount of time off to grieve.

6:06 AM  

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