Dennis Hastert - A Real American Hero

Dennis Hastert bravely decided that more Americans should have their arms and legs blown off - and be killed - and to spend another $60 billion dollars in unbudgeted US funds to defeat terror.
"It is a battle we must endure and one in which we can and will be victorious," He said the American troops in Iraq knew their cause was noble. So the new reason we're in Iraq is because war is noble.
Fun facts:
-Hastert receieved $70,000 from Jack Abramoff, a felon who bribes members of Congress.
-Hastert did not serve in the military, but he was a wrestling coach, leading the Yorkville High School team to a state title in 1976, which is kind of like his own personal Vietnam. Except he won.