Wednesday, September 27, 2006

My Christmas List Starts Now

It was around this time every year that I'd start collecting massive Wish List catalogs from Sears, JC Penny, and various (horrible) Service Merchandise stores. Thus would begin my Ramadan: 90 days and 90 nights of fasting from brand new toys, waiting for Satana Claus to bring me the fucking loot.

I miss those tree-devouring 1500 page tomes of yore. I could quote them chapter and verse.

But I've put away childish things, and my tastes are oh so sophisticated now. I'm looking at you Bethge of Hamburg.

"Decadently luxurious backgammon set bound completely in calfskin from the case to the playing pieces to the shaker. For a truly indulgent game."

52x33x9,5 cm ca. 1.000 g
Material Calfskin

They also have a non-animal killing version made of wood and metal. In fact I like that one a little better, but it does double as a chess/checkers set as well; and that kind of multi-functionalism is something I refuse to put up with.

Chess indeed. What do I look like? A god-damned school teacher?

Checkers indeed. What do I look like? A god-damned hill-billy?

The final straw in the wood/metal set is that it costs a measly €890,00. What do I look like? A god-damned hobo scraping together guilders together to buy a backgammon set under 1.000,00 ?!

Still, here's what the cheap-o one looks like:

Very nice. Slap some KMFDM stickers on that metal box and we'll be on to something. Also of positive note: No handles on the metal box at all, which makes it extra hard for your valet to bring along to bars and club rooms. But that's what I pay him for. God-damn it.


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