Monday, March 19, 2007

YPMTRGA 10th Anniversary of Heaven's Gate Cult Suicide Party!

In honor of believers who REALLY believe, please join us in San Deigo this weekend where we'll do our best to ascend into heaven by poisoning ourselves with red wine, backgammon, and sauces on meats laden with saturated fats. Maybe, like the original Heaven's Gate-ers, we'll watch some Star Trek too. Sure, it's not the same as Phenobarbitol mixed with vodka and a bag over the head, but I hope they won't hold that against us.

Like the Gate-ers, we will each carry five dollars in quarters, for use on the spaceship (which is to have vending machines and an arcade) to which we will be transported upon our death.

We may never know for sure if the Hale-Bopp comet had a spaceship behind it that was carrying Jesus, as the Heaven's Gate-ers believed, but the odds of it are exactly as good as any other beliefs of Christians or Muslims.

Still, let's let Ti & Do speak for themselves:

HEAVEN'S GATE® "Away Team" Returns to Level Above Human in Distant Space - 3-22-97

RANCHO SANTO FE, CA -- By the time you receive this, we'll be gone -- several dozen of us. We came from the Level Above Human in distant space and we have now exited the bodies that we were wearing for our earthly task, to return to the world from whence we came -- task completed. The distant space we refer to is what your religious literature would call the Kingdom of Heaven or the Kingdom of God.

During a brief window of time, some may wish to follow us. If they do, it will not be easy. The requirement is to not only believe who the Representatives are, but, to do as they and we did. You must leave everything of your humanness behind. This includes the ultimate sacrifice and demonstration of faith -- that is, the shedding of your human body. If you should choose to do this, logistically it is preferred that you make this exit somewhere in the area of the West or Southwest of the United States -- but if this is not possible -- it is not required. You must call on the name of TI and DO to assist you. In so doing, you will engage a communication of sorts, alerting a spacecraft to your location where you will be picked up after shedding your vehicle, and taken to another world -- by members of the Kingdom of Heaven.

Only a Member of the Next Level can give you Life -- can take you out of "Death" -- but it requires that you disconnect, separate, from the last element holding you to the human kingdom.

We know what we're saying -- we know it requires a "leap of faith." But it's deliberate -- designed for those who would rather take that leap than stay in this world.

We suggest that anyone serious about considering this go into their most quiet place and ask, scream, with all of their being, directing their asking to the Highest Source they can imagine (beyond Earth's atmosphere), to give them guidance. Only those "chosen" by that Next Kingdom will know that this is right for them, and will be given the courage required to act.


Anonymous Brandee said...

You write very well.

2:48 PM  

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