Swarthy Panamianian John McCain to infiltrate White House and Destory America

McCain’s Canal Zone Birth Prompts Queries About Whether That Rules Him Out

Mr. McCain’s likely nomination as the Republican candidate for president and the happenstance of his birth in the Panama Canal Zone in 1936 are reviving a musty debate that has surfaced periodically since the founders first set quill to parchment and declared that only a “natural-born citizen” can hold the nation’s highest office.

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Who really knows anything about this Jose McCain character other than he has has come crawling out of the steamy, snake-infested jungles of Panama, likely full of Typhoid and Yellow Fever.

Above: Sean Connery in a Panama Hat: A real American. Why not elect him? 

Now, I'm no expert in the manners and whims of the uncivilized, savage peoples of Panama, but I honestly hope that el Presidente Vincente McCain doesn't start holding human sacrifices on the White House steps and build giant temples to his SUN GOD. 

Above, Senor Alberto McCain wearing a Panama hat.

It makes sense now that he has chosen PHOENIX as his casa while taking advantage of the hospitality of our fair land. He probably worships the Phoenix - or some other flaming bird god.


Above, an artist's rendering of the possible innauguration ceremony of Senor Manuel McCain. The following day, we will learn that American has been turned into a mere colony of the growing Empire of Panama.