The Chano's burrito stand near my house closed down recently. It was never as good as the one on 32nd and Figueroa south of downtown, but it still had better carnitas than most any other place I've been to.
Well, it's being turned into a Jollibee - the weirdest fast-food place I've ever seen. Longtime readers remember we used to have an ongoing segment about Jollibee's dishes such as the Palabok Fiesta
and the Chicken Torpedo
To see what treats I'd be in for at my new local Jollibee I checked their always surreal website.
Make way for the Crispy Bangus Belly
: Deep-fried, breaded and smoked bangus belly with an appetizing fusion of pepper, vinegar and garlic flavors, served with fresh tomato slices and steamed rice. A familiar, yet uniquely special meal that is deliciously filling and has great value-for-money.
-- There's more you yuppie-scum - Prepare for workplace ennui and battered dreams to be revitalized by the slaughter of a bangus and a depressed copywriter somewhat fluent in two languages! --Break the Monotony with the new Crispy Bangus Belly
Today's breed of yuppies are busybodies with full calendars and a mile-long list of to-dos. Driven and organized, they wake up each day knowing what to expect and what needs to be done. Much everything is routine yet different in many ways. Same job, new project. Old system, bigger targets. They may be busy but their lives can get pretty monotonous sometimes. This is why little surprises and much-awaited breaks from the ordinary come as teeny rays of sunshine that add excitement to life. It may be something as simple as an impromptu night out with the team or a tasty discovery like Jollibee's new Crispy Bangus Belly. The latest Jollibee rice meal offering is a fresh addition to the well-loved menu and it will surely be equally appetizing and satisfying. Deep-fried, breaded and smoked, Jollibee's Crispy Bangus Belly is a tempting fusion of pepper, vinegar and garlic flavors served with fresh tomato slices and steamed rice. It's so authentically Pinoy and home-made, you'll feel right at home in Jollibee. A perfect respite from the confines of the office in the middle of the day or an accessible pit stop after office hours, Jollibee offers its welcoming arms to hardworking young adult crowd any time of the day. So don't let the monotony wear you down. There are a dozen and one ways to break the routine and try something new even with a schedule as crazy as yours. Change your hairstyle. Read a new book. Or simply drop by Jollibee and indulge in a uniquely delectable serving of the new Crispy Bangus Belly. It's the easiest way to take a much-needed break.
I've no idea what a bangus is; probably a rare beautiful forest animal brutally slaughtered as their habitat is clear-cut for the culinary delights of Filipinos living in America. Or maybe it's like bacon.